how i becam mrs dr jon cartr
by fabala-fae
Summary: This was my contribution to the challenge to write a "bad fiction" at ERFanfictionZone. A review here at ff.net reminded me of it, and now I feel like posting it. Hehe...it parodies those psychos who put themselves in the story. THIS IS NOT HOW I REALLY W


Ok, here's my contribution to the bad fic challenge - it was too  
  
tempting to resist! *grits teeth to prepare for grammatical  
  
mistakes . . .* This one is modeled after those psychos who put  
  
themselves in the fics. I think I've perfected it (in a manner of  
  
speaking) down to the irrelevant song, anyway, here goes!  
  
Bad writing begins . . .  
  
now  
  
tittle: how i becam mrs dr jon carter  
  
dizclamer: non of thes chractorz R mine their nbcz. butt 1 day im  
  
gona go to nbc an kidnap jon carter bicuz we R ment for each othr an  
  
we wil be togthr 4evr  
  
clamer: i wil play jen she has browwn hare nd borwn eys she is like  
  
me but she is not mi she is jus a chractor of mi imajan imajen emajen  
  
me mind i promis.  
  
song: best song evr allstar by smackmoth  
  
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on day jon carter walked in the er an said i wish I culd have a true  
  
luv sum1 to hold 4evr who wuld luv me 2 even tho i half thes horible  
  
scarz on my back from wen i was stabbd by pol suprikki. susan sed  
  
carter i wil luv U even tho you half thos awefull scarz and carter  
  
sed thanx but no thanx i wanna mi true luv. abbie sed carter i wil  
  
leve luke and bee wit U 4evr, u are sooo fine and we cin mak  
  
buotifull babys togthr I wan youre sex. but carter sed no I don't luv  
  
U like I wil luv my true luv but thanx 4 th ofer.  
  
so carter was verry sad wen he workt on his patents. thre was a  
  
gorgus blond woman who sed I herd U talkin I wil luv you 4evr. an she  
  
touhd his speshal areea and he sed thanx butt i wanna true luv not  
  
sum1 who is only into sexx. and she sed ok goood luk u diserv it the  
  
prefct gurl wil com soon.  
  
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somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me i aint the sharpest  
  
tool in the shed she was looking kind of dumm with her finger and her  
  
thum in the shape of a l on her forehead well the years start coming  
  
and they dont stop coming fed to the rules and i hit the ground  
  
running didnt make sense not to live for fun youre brain gets smart  
  
but youre head gets dumb so much to do so much to see so whats wrong  
  
with taking the back streets youll never know if you dont go youll  
  
never shine if you dont glow hey now yore an all star get your game  
  
on, go play hey now youre a rock star get the show on get paid and  
  
all that glitters is gold only shooting stars break the mold  
  
-----------------------------------------------------  
  
jen starred out th windw her rommate sed jen y are U cryin and jen  
  
bruhed bak her drk brwn hare an sed i wish I culd find a man whoo  
  
wuld luv me even tho I M a loozer. and her rommate sed jen wat R U  
  
talkin bout U R not a loozer. and jen sed yes i am. and her rommate  
  
sed no your not. and jen sed yes i am. and her rommate sed no your  
  
not. and jen sed well I wissh my prnce charmin wuld take me from  
  
thiss tower. and her rommate sed jen your so wierd this is not a  
  
tower its a dorm. and jen startd cryin agan sayin no 1 undestrands me  
  
i wish my princ wuld com resque me. i wuld luv him even if he had  
  
horible gastly ugly scars on his bak form being stabbd at the  
  
hopsital or werever he wurks. and her rommate sed jen your so weerd.  
  
and jen sed U don't unnerstand mee and she cryed and cryed. then she  
  
sed ow my stomack hurts an her rommate sed omg R u ok? and jen sed no  
  
call 911. and her rommate sed OMG jen wats wrong. and jen sed i dont  
  
no i think i brok my appindicks from my hartbrakin tears. and the  
  
rommate OMG OMG OMG okies lemme call the hopsital. and jen sed ok but  
  
hury cause im gonna faynt. and her rommate sed no hang in there the  
  
911 lady sez that all the califrnia hopsitals are closed but we can  
  
go to 1 in chicago. jen sed ok and thout maybe ill find my true luv  
  
there. Then she thout thats silly and she passed out from payne.  
  
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its a cool place and they says it gets colder youre bundled up now  
  
but wait til you get older but the meteor men beg to differ judging  
  
by the hole in the sattilite picture the ice we skate is getting  
  
pretty thin the waters getting warm so you might as well swim my  
  
worlds on fire how about yours that the way i like it and i never get  
  
bored hey now your an allstar get the game on go play hey hey now  
  
your a rock starr get the show on get payed all that glitteres is  
  
gold only shootin stars make the mold somebody once asked could you  
  
spare some change for gas i need to get myself away from this place i  
  
said yep what a concept i could use a little fuel myself and we could  
  
all use a little change well the years start coming and they don't  
  
stop coming fed to the rules and i hit the ground running didn't make  
  
sense not to live for funyour brain gets smart but your head gets  
  
dumb so much to do so much to see  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
carter walked threw the halls and sed randy r there any cases 4 me.  
  
she sed no. he sed ok. he sat in chares and cryed. susan sed wats  
  
wrong. carter sed i wish i had sum1 to luv me. susan sed I wil luv u  
  
in a sec but rite now theirs a case 4 me. and carter sed ok and he  
  
cryed his brwon pupie dog eyes out.  
  
susan sed wat do we got and dorice sed 18 yeer old female with broken  
  
appindicks. and susan sed ok carter i need yer help. carter sed okies  
  
and he walkd to the gurney were jen was lyin. and he sed omg wat  
  
happind to this gurl? and susan sed she broke her appindicks probable  
  
form hartbrakin tears looks at her cheeks she was cryin. and carter  
  
sed she is the most buytiful gurl ive ever seen y wood she be cryin.  
  
an susan sed maybe she has no 1 to luv her. and carter sed omigod  
  
that is the sadest thin ive ever herd. he starred at her sad sleping  
  
face and sed i think im in luv wit her. susan sed Uve never even  
  
talkd to her how can u know if u luv her. carter sed i dont no I jus  
  
have a feelin ok. and susna sed ok and she startd to wurk on jen's  
  
appindicks. carter sed i cant stand to see my true luv cut up like  
  
this tell me wen its over. and susan sed ok. so carter went outside  
  
and smild and thout i found my true love i am so luckie. he decided  
  
that there kids wood be named dawson and joey b/c that is anothr  
  
cople who is ment to be.  
  
soon susan cam out and sed carter she is ok she is wakin up. carter  
  
sed ok and sed susan im sorry we wont be in luv anymore, she is my  
  
true luv and i cant let her slip threw my fingrs. susan sed i  
  
unnerstand. carter smild at her ad went into the rom and sed hi baby  
  
how r u feelin. and jen lookt at him and sed who r u. carter sed i am  
  
a dcter hear but mi name is carter jon carter. and jen sed hi jon  
  
carter you look so fammilar to me. and he sed yah u 2 i thin i saw u  
  
in mi dreems. and she sed yah your rite i saw u in my dreems 2. An he  
  
kisst her and she startd to crie agan and he sed wots wrong? and jen  
  
sed your leanin on my broken appindicks and he sed o sorry. he kisst  
  
her form the othr side and she sed i am in luv i think. and he laft  
  
and sed me too my life is soooooo prefect now. and she sed me too but  
  
im only 18 and wasnt reena like only a cuple yeers older then that  
  
and she was 2 yong for u. and carter sed but i didnt love hr like i  
  
luv u. and jen smiled and sed ok. and carter sed how did u no about  
  
reena. and jen sed i dot no maybe my dreems told me. and carter sed o  
  
and he kisst her agin.  
  
then she sed omg my appindicks hurts and carter sed i thowt they  
  
taked it out. and jen sayed they musta mad a mistake mayb sum1 is  
  
tryin to kill me lik a angel of deth or somthin. and carter sed  
  
noooo! and he runned outside and sed WHO IS TRYIN TO KILL MY TRU LUV  
  
MY ANGLE THE ANSER TO MY PREYERS. and abbie sed opps sorry. and  
  
carter sed that's ok just fix her. and abbie sed ok but u have to kis  
  
me furst and carter sed NO WAY I AM IN LOVE. and abbie sed u dont evn  
  
no her name and carter sed maybe not but i no I luv her. and abbie  
  
sed ok u hav a good pont. and she fixed jens appindicks and carter  
  
sed thanx abbie u r a good frend evn tho u tired to kill my true luv.  
  
and she sed sorry bout that i was jus mad jelous. And carter sed I no  
  
but luke luvs u and abbie sed your rite and carter kissd jen agin and  
  
they got marryd the next day and had babys named carol and doug cuse  
  
there ment to be just like them. well not the babys but carter and  
  
jen. and they lifed happly evr aftre.  
  
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so whats wrong with taking the back streets yule never no if you dont  
  
go yule never shine if you dot glow hey now your a allstar get yer  
  
game on go play hey now your a rockstar get the show on get payed all  
  
that gilters is gold only shootin stars brake the bold  
  
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Blech, that was awful but too much fun to write! Hehe! 


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